The drunkard

OK, so I'm drunk... But I keep having this thought and I wanna get it outta my head:

The Drunkard
"Urgh" he lent against the bar, hanging his head between his shoulders and placed the quarter-pint glass down with a little force - the ice rattled.
He closed his eyes and thought; he thought of the past, the present and the future. Everything and nothing. He burped a few times, his stomach was shaking it's fist at him.
"You've 'ad enough" mumbled the barkeeper, a man with a leather jacket and an eye for people in trouble.
"I have only just started my good man!" stated the wreck who was only held up by the stool he was sitting on, ".. eye whisshh that I was a beet.. bit more gorn." he said, breathing deeply and wobbling just a tiny bit.
"I haevent eeven told yoo my story" he slurred, managing to at least make sense. He peered up at the barkeeper, hoping against hope he'd get a drink and an ear to talk to.
"Ok, another Whiskey Mac was it?" the bartender, although he wore a leather jacket and a pierced earring knew when to listen, and when one more drink was appropriate.
"Thanks Jo.. Actually, what is your name?" Conner closed one eye, concentrating on the man infront of him - as if that made a difference.
The radio at the back of the bar distracted him for a second, the background noise taking control. Suddenly he re-focused in time to hear;
"..Dave. and here's your drink friend."
"The name's Matt. Cheers, DAVE?" he swigged half the glass, and breathed deeply again, blinked slowly and then returned to the real world.
"So what's your story Matt?" the bartender wiped a glass, ready to lend the poor man an ear.
"I lurve someone." Matt leaned forward, almost falling right into his glass.
"Shouldn't that be something to celebrate?"
"Ahhh, you don't noe hur! She's sweet.. She's funni. She is everything!" he waved his hand around, Dave grabbed it and placed it back at Matt's glass.
"BUT-" Dave raised an eyebrow. He knew there was a but. There always was with the guys in trouble. - a 'but', an 'or'.. sometimes even an 'if only' - he knew this one was a 'but'.
".. but.." Matt stared into his glass - it was a regular glass, but the brown liquid inside seemed to slosh about and give him his destiny - or at least give him one certain thing in life; he'd end up in the toilet before mid-day tomorrow. ".. she doesn't like me. I'm not up to her 'standards'." and with the standards, he sloshed the drink again, and pulled a face, before taking a sip.
"But you're friends?" Dave asked. He wiped the bar infront of him, the glas was gone - Matt was too drunk to notice.
"Yes."
"And you value the fact that she's a friend? You like her company and she likes yours?"
"Weeell.." Matt concentrated, he didn't need to but he was forming the words into as short-a sentence as possible... ".. yes!" - he'd done it.
".. and she doesn't know you like her in that way?" Dave attempted to take the drink - Matt pulled it almost falling off his chair...
".. no." he re-balanced and finished off the drink, slipping in some ice to suck on.
"- Well, I think you're better off being friends. You will look out for her, and make sure she's OK. You will also let her make her decisions." Dave stole the glass of ice, Matt looked suspiciously at his hand.
"Yeh.. Yurr right! She's a gooood gurl." He stood up, and thinking better sat back down.
"And you'll pay me the thirty dollars you owe me.." Dave marked up that he under-charged a guy by 5 dollars - it was all he could do. "Do you want a taxi?" he asked, patting Matt on the shoulder.
"Here ya arrr" Matt handed over fourty, ". thanks for the help."
Matt stood up and checked his pockets - he had it all.. Apart from what he wanted. Money, status, a home.. He leaned forward and stumbled towards the exit, still agile enough to avoid anyone in the way. Swinging through the door he wondered what would happen next.. He pulled up his phone and called the number he was thinking of..

OK.. That seems to finish it off.

Smokey

It drifted over the pile of rubble which was the south wall, almost knocking it over. It was thick, and sweet, and it crept along the grass running through it like fingers through hair. The intoxicating smell of burning mahogany seemed to part as it surrounded the rose. It seemed to give off one spectacular last red blaze, fighting against the choking smog, and then disappeared.
The smoke wandered further away, hitting the tall tree's only feet away, and stopping as water does against a brick wall. It smirked and spread westward; it wanted adventure and it was going to get it!
Tracing the smoke backwards, over the southern wall, the bare grass lay there, flat, looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact with the billowing snake above... That didn't protect them.
The fire burned strongly, it was on the other side of the field, over the much sturdier North Wall, which actually looked like rocks had been gathered, prepared, even slightly shaped, and then organized into a neat row with mud pulling it all together, stopping the rocks from escaping (which of course they tried daily).

OK, so it gets a little further along huh?

I'm not sure where to go next. I want to hop over the wall and describe the fire, the person next to it, what's been thrown in.. But I'm not sure whether this'll be a fantasy story, or reality, or mystic (I think they're good but possibly over-done).

Back into real life for a second, my guitar practice is still ongoing. Morning, noon and night (if I can)..

I have a fridge which doesn't work right now.. I think the electrical box thing which is next to the motor has gone, so I've currently got the giftee (my mother) searching for the reciept to it. If not, then my screwdrivers haven't been used in OOooooo - 2 weeks? They must be getting awfully stir-crazy!

I'm feeling vacant.. More vacant then normal anyway, like several parts of me are missing, and my mind is continually elsewhere.


Work is ongoing. Audit stuff is quite boring, and I'm trying not to over-think the script's we/I shall be creating.
Right now there are parts that people can't use because back when it occurred no-one was interested. Now we have people wanting to use it and of course, it's all not working and no-one knows where it is (ie, the level of code) and no-one knows how to fix it.
We're also currently paying for people to ask us the questions we're asking them... Hopefully it will get better!

I'm reading a different type of book. It's called "This book will save your life". Not really enthusiastic about it so far, I've simply grown accustom to Terry Pratchett - his wit, his imagination and his descriptions (hopefully people will see part of his influence above). This book is different in that it's a female writer, tackling a male issue of solitude, and it's more from an odd personal point of view... I can connect with the lifestyle this man holds (sort-of), but the descriptions are more emotion based, more idle.
I say idle because I am acutely aware of very much that goes on around me. The people walking past to go to the toilet in the morning, the shadows that play on the ground as I pass the woods in the morning (and even the people across the 2 lane road and large grass embankment, who are in their front doorways talking), or the fact of the car that always speeds around the roads where I live at roughly 1 am every morning (sounds a bit like those tire-burning party's sometimes). But in the story, it is from a man who notices very little of the world surrounding him, he blinding walks through simply thinking of his emotions - which doesn't seem very male-like to me.

I will end, as I often do in my Journal, with a quote from my fabulous 'book of quotes'.

Love is as strong as death, many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it

The Solitary Rose

Well, I've always been good at beginning things - never really at continuing or finishing them off.
But this will hopefully be the start of a short story (or perhaps just left as a piece of poetic non-description, who can tell!?);

The Solitary Rose

The solitary rose stood there suspended, glistening in the dawning sky. The layer of fresh dew from the night before - frozen, imprisoning the blossoming spirit in a glowing glass-like time capsule. The early onset of winter had caught it off-guard in full glory.
It wavered as a harsh but gentle breeze moved it like a metronome, it's bud following the southern wall which peeped inches above the jagged ridge.
It bobbed and weaved, taunting the poor collection of rocks calling itself a 'wall' until, without warning, the wind ceased - as if awaiting it's arrival.

I was toying with the idea of a rosewood fire with the sweet smelling smoke.. But don't like the use of 'rose' twice.
I could use Cedar - but not a lot of people know that Cedar is a type of wood.

So as always, it's the little niggly bits which stop me going forward. If I had a good type of wood which I feel comfortable using then I could continue on.

Windows vs Linux

OK.. I have to rant - and I have to rant NOW!
I hate all these "why linux will succeed on the desktop" or "linux v windows" posts everywhere, and there's one reason I hate them:
THEY STATE THE BLEEDING OBVIOUS!

Yes, I know why windows is in use in businesses, and yes I know that people will find it difficult to move to linux. Yes yes yes yes bleeding yes!
But there's also the replies to such entries, who are either one or the other - they are either FOR linux, and say "yes it's ready for mainstream BUT user have different problems to worry about" (and they try to ignore the problems users will have from the very first second) or they're very biased against "windows pwns j0o! My programs are only available in windows. I am uber great at windows and you can't manage linux the same!" (pointing out old, or totally irrelevant details like 'oh, you can't use the user management capabilities in linux"... DURR - LINUX IS DIFFERENT).

So, let's get down to the nitty gritty shall we? My thoughts!?
Linux is great on the desktop, all I need and more. It seems to be like a marching band to windows' electric organ. Sure you have to go around giving individuals music sheets, perhaps changing the instrument, adding in a musician or two, but you have an all encompassing solution which is highly dynamic, certain parts are highly specialized which improves their working, and the general why things work is 'better' (also a typical install may be a bit 'bulky'.. I think *my* default system is about 5 gigs - but that does include office suite, games, gnome - which I need for certain config apps etc as I use KDE, screensavers, development tools, graphics programs - compared probably to 3 or 4 for windows with fewer apps).

Now windows does have certain things correct. I was just moving from WEP to WPA-TKIP encryption on my wireless (I didn't trust wpa_supplicant until recently) network.
Trying to do it through 3 different approaches:

1. config files (damn they're horrible in Fedora.. not one or two - but 3 locations for identical files!? - maybe more..)
2. Network adaptor GUI (edits those config files for you - nicer interface.. I still had to do some deleting though)
3. Wireless networks gui (wlassistant and wpa_gui).

Now between them all, the configuration was only mildly annoying (the mildly being wpa_gui not saving anything to the config file - the same for wlassistant. They both HAD to be run as root(!?) and the network adaptor GUI didn't delete the keys files from the WEP encryption). It was very manageable and a reset to sort out the interface problems I caused means it now works correctly for my laptop.

Back on subject, windows has directx - which is a whole composite of input/output/graphics/audio/gadgetry/device/networking solutions. YES, there are alternatives (ALSA/OpenAL/OpenGL/OpenNA(new to me)/SDL(quite a good overall alternative - cross platform too)/etc) but they are not 100% comparative to (OpenGL lacks certain features which make Direct3D desirable - from what I've read) windows.
Windows (XP at least) had a good config layout. You'd go to networking options for IP address etc - and then to hardware if you wanted to fool around with the lower layers. Linux seems to mix these a little.

BUT - and here's the stinker - linux can give you 98-99% of what you want to do right now. It CAN use encryption, it can play your (non-DRM) movies and it CAN give you a nice way to see wireless networks and it CAN allow you to open up MS word documents and it CAN give you 3D, flash, audio, networking pleasure. It can provide you (I suddenly had an 'outer limits' moment there) with 1000 more customizations than your average windows user on the interface ALONE (again - KDE user here). You can use 80% of all hardware on the beast (those left out are mostly in the wireless section of the hardware isles) which only mean that 20% will have to be 'botched' (yes, you can make them work using windows emulation*).
*I know it's not really emulation but rather an abstraction layer which translates - but emulation is crude enough to inform the not-so-knowledgeable while the elders know what it means.

SCREW FREE AS IN BEER/FREE AS IN SPEECH.
Who the hell wants to debate politics!? I use a computer because I like the way it acts, it does WHAT I want, HOW I want to use it, it PERFORMS how I want it to and most importantly nowadays - I get it for a price which I am happy with (~£0 money, ~10 mins time-wise,on average, learning curve-come-config).
Yes windows is closed source, so what? Yes MP3 codecs are closed source (and patented due to those stupid yanks) - SO WHAT!?
Sure, I would prefer the free/open option. Sure I would use them by default - if given the choice.
Some would say "free as in speech" is all about freedom of choice - I say bollocks to you. Freedom of choice is to be able to choose closed source if I want to!
I'm locked into several needs (MP3's need to be used for my Ipod, flash needed for website satisfaction). I have one friend who needs windows for some musical application needs (I say he doesn't - but oh well).

So this rant is coming to a close: the outcome being that I love Linux. Everyone would love linux if they gave it a chance and could learn what needs to be done, or do without some games, or use a different application... But not everyone wants to. We all know why windows is still up there - because it comes by default, because less talented people (I include the rest of my family in that list) can't learn new methods quickly and because games are locked into windows (yeah, other lock-ins too but for the desktop it's games).
For those - I simply say fine. Wait for the march of progress, which is inevitable. I'm not saying linux desktop is coming as such, I'm not going to say when, or that it's soon. I'm saying it's here but that the people aren't ready to learn the quaint twists of linux. Linux will develop more user-friendly tools, and will emulate* windows to ease any transition. The companies will see an increase of activity and will adopt linux too one by one - bit by bit.
If you want to continue using windows - fine. I have no objection to you using it. I won't continue on at you, or force you - there's no point, microsoft are doing that already.

But you people please stop complaining about one or the other? Would they please stop trying to judge the other, put the other down and just try to actually make a good use experience while they can?

BTW - labels in this thing... when I type 'linux [comma] [space]' I don't expect 'santa linux story' to be substituted. What the hell!?